Does this Work?

Cathy and Kirk "Simpson"

I am a Simpson's fan, so I will see the movie. Putting out a website that lets me Simpsonize myself is simply as cool as it gets, but by now you shouldn't be shocked getting that from the Simpsons' franchise.

So I would say this is brilliant, except I'm still not going to patronize the sponsor because of this ad. I don't have anything against Burger King, I just know I don't eat there, and a cool online app isn't going to change my mind.

But BK has been kickin' it, so I guess they know what they're doing. Here's one thing I'll bet... that this "Simpsonizer" becomes one of the most popular things ever on the web. I just can't wait to find out if it really sells burgers.

Make Sure You're Picture Perfect

Look at this AT&T ad featuring Atlanta Braves star Andruw Jones.

You do not have to post pixelated photos/graphics that make the subject look like this, and you shouldn't. Make sure your photos and writing are well-done, by people who know what they're doing. (KirkLancaster.com -- hint, hint.)

I hate to see this.

Perusing bottles at the grocery tonight, I see "Jerry Garcia Wine." For some reason -- and I'm not a fan of the Grateful Dead -- this bothers me. When I get home to check out the story, (did he have a vineyard?) a typo in their site happens to clarify everything. In a link to learn more about the artist, the site says "to learn more about the Jerry Garcia, click here." "The" Jerry Garcia. That's it. He's an object. Just like ol' Elvis, he has heirs making all the money now.

Maybe the wine maker is making money because of that rabid Dead-Head following, but to the people marketing this (Clos du Bois), I say: C'mon. If your wine is any good, try a little harder than that. Just be honest with your brand. Why try to ride someone's coattails if you want to put out something remarkable?

I'm sure the wine is less-than-average fermented grape juice, they're cashing in on suckers (probably still trippin'), and laughing all the way to the bank.

Hopefully your work means more to you than just preying on the weak with a sub-par, whorified product.

Looking Into the Crystal Ball

Perhaps by 2012...?

• Cars will have exterior and interior full-time cameras and recorders; your own little "black box" that will protect you (or possibly incriminate you) in the event of accidents or crimes.Car tags will be wireless and digital, no numbers visible.
  
• Cars won't start unless tag and insurance are up to date, and the driver is licensed and authorized to drive. Thanks to these new tags, you won't be running any red lights or stop signs without getting an automatic fine.
  
• Cars will have real-time speed limits based on traffic, road and weather conditions. You won't be able to break speed limits, again giving you big savings off car insurance.

Yes, this is another hard-to-stomach, far-fetched vision, and privacy advocates will scream bloody murder. But when you consider automobile accidents are the most common cause of accidental death in America, why can't we use technology to help eliminate 50,000 deaths per year? Many new business opportunities would be created, and many liabilities destroyed.